Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Eureka! (Then insert cussing of the worst kind)

I had a revelation last night around midnight.  The magnitude of this revelation came at me like a freight train, and by 2am, I worried and over-thunk myself into a panic.  Things always seem worse in the middle of the night, right?

Anyway, as I laid in bed, listening to the "creature" that has been creeping under my bedroom for the entire six months I've lived here....the same noise that awoke me from my slumbers and made me walk around my house with a knife on my first night alone in the house....the same noise that has prompted me to inspect the perimeter of my house numerous times, looking for an entrance....the same noise that I embarrassingly admit talking to like it's my friend and companion while I sleep...   I finally figured out what it is.  It came to me like a Dr. House epiphany.

I've heard this noise hundreds of times now.  It bangs under my bedroom for around an hour each night, sometimes more, about 11pm every time.  Then bangs again around 6am in the mornings.  Sometimes I hear it the middle of the day.  What is it, you ask?

It is not the sound of fuzzy bunnies or a cute neighborhood cat.  NO! It is the sound of two sump pumps!!  I knew they were there, but it never occurred to me that they would be running so much.  Do I have a river that flows under my house?  Geesh!

After a sleepless night of panic, thinking about all the possibilities of what is causing this, what damage is being done, and envisioning having to lift my entire house off the ground or having to dig up my entire yard, I am left with the same questions and worry upon sunrise.   Is the fire hydrant on the corner of my lot releasing water?  Are the neighbors' water lines leaking?  Are city pipes leaking?  What the hell is going on under there?  Am I getting a ton of mold growing under my house?  Is this going to affect the kids?  Am I going to be on the news?  <---- hehehe

Okay, so where do I go from here?  Who am I supposed to call about this?

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