For the first time ever, I had a dream that I was falling. It was night, and I was driving my van with Eliah in the back. I was downtown (not where I live), but somewhere I'd never been, that had the very high ramps to get on and off the interstate. It was dark and I was lost. I chose one of the ramps and started driving up. It went higher than all the other ramps, then suddenly I could see that the ramp had a sharp turn ahead, almost a u-turn. I slowed down as much as I could, and I eased around the corner. But it didn't matter, the wheels glided over the edge and I could see the front of the van with nothing underneath.
The van started to fall over the edge, and I remember saying to myself, "There is nothing I can do now". As it started to fall straight down in slow motion, I resolved to the fact that this was the end. I thanked God for the wonderful life I have had and asked forgiveness for all the things I had done wrong. It felt like I fell for at least a mile.
Because the van was straight up and down, I could not see where I was going or what was at the bottom. I assumed it was concrete. All I could see was straight ahead of me, It was scary, but I had made my peace. I was just waiting for that moment of impact. I kept thinking, "I wonder what it will feel like. I wonder if I will feel pain or just die instantly"
Right before impact, the van turned upside down, and I could see that there was dark water beneath me. Then I hit it with great force. The van sunk under the water, and I looked around in the darkness. I remember thinking, "I'm not dead. Why am I not dead? Why am I not even hurt?". This part is silly, but I remembered an episode of Mythbusters about not panicking when you are in a car underwater, and I followed the rules as best I could to get out.
I swam to shore, but I don't remember getting Eliah out. He was on shore with me though when the medics were all around. He didn't look to be hurt or bruised, but he was never conscious. I just kept saying, "He has Hemophilia, I have to give him his shot or he'll die." Then someone gave me some half-assed supplies, and I ended up breaking off the needle in Eliah's port and not being able to finish. I felt like I was panicking and doing everything I could possibly do, as fast as possible, but still failing.
That was it. I didn't wake up, but the dream ended there. I know it was a metaphor for what's going on in my life right now. I'm looking forward to going back to the flying dreams. :)
