Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Party in My Bedroom- Please Don't Invite Your Friends

I have become somewhat self-reflective and analytical like Carrie Bradshaw of Sex in the City (that means I have too much time on my hands).  I will admit that I am naive, gullible, and sometimes way too nice.  What I get in return (more often than not) is people that take advantage of my good nature.  Am I an angel?  HELL no. But I'm not the devil either.  I try to always do the right thing. 

(small rant) There are times that I want to scream out the injustices of the world.  There are times that I want to expose people for what they really are, not what they show on the outside.  There are times that I want explain why I do things the way I do.  But I don't.  Why, you ask? Because it doesn't change anything,  it's not nice to talk about other people, and sometimes people really don't care to hear it.  So I continue on my way, believing that  "Do good things, good will come to you". (rant over)

So that brings me to Saturday afternoon.  I pull back my shower curtain to clean, and as I reach into the drain to pull out the hair cork, a bug jumps into the air and almost hits my face.  I may have screamed, I don't remember.  But I look down, and it's this big bug, half stink bug half spider.  It was a mutant.  And being that I have a son that is "different", I felt sorry for this bug.  I spoke to it (in my head), "Ok, you can hang out", then left the bathroom with my new little mutant friend still enjoying my new shower, and me feeling proud of myself for being so kind to God's little creature.

Then came Sunday morning.  No bug in the shower.  Where did he go? I searched and searched, finally discovering him in my bedroom, watching me from the wall above the window curtains.  And I spoke to him again, "Okay, you can hang out, but don't be jumping on me".  I left once again, leaving my friend to play in my room.

Monday evening came around, and I told Natalie (the bug queen) of my new mutant friend.  We searched everywhere, but could not find him.  Natalie thought she found him, but it turned out to be a dead spider (I've really got to clean better).  So, no sign of him Monday night. I figured he crawled back outside the way he came in.  What a nice visit. 

Then came Tuesday night, last night.....  (insert dramatic music).....  I tucked the kids in bed, turned out the lights, and went to my bedroom.  I started to pull the decorative pillows off my bed, and low and behold, that bug was under the pillow, right on my sheet.  And I spoke to him, "Oh no you didn't!".  He immediately did the guilty dog pose.  He KNEW he had gone too far.  I went and got toilet paper and was talking to myself the whole time, "Why does everyone have to take everything too far?  Why is everyone so selfish?  Why wasn't what I offered enough?".  When I got back, he was still there giving me his best guilty look, and pleading with me to let him stay.  But I held my breath, scooped him up with the paper, and flushed him. 

In addition to this mutant friend, my shadow stalker from the previous post was not necessarily a cat.  I'm not really sure what it is, but it lives under my bedroom.  It's large.  It goes to bed around 11pm and wakes in the morning around 6am.  I would like to know what is making such a racket under there, but I would probably just let it stay.  I even tip toe when I have to get up in the middle of the night, so I do not disturb it.  Seriously, what is wrong with me?

This morning, in dealing with my anger, confusion and guilt over the wild kingdom in my bedroom, I couldn't help but wonder.... Is being nice out of style?  Do I have to be ruthless to have life go my way?  Is there a class on this, because I have no idea how to do it. 

Monday, September 12, 2011

I Will Cut You.....

I'm holding the keys

It's the little things that make such a big difference

Roll in shower

Bathroom after I Anncredibled it

Well, I fell a long way and I landed on my feet (so far).  I am now a proud homeowner of an AWESOME house that happens to be handicapped accessible in very subtle ways. It's been a very long journey with many ups and downs.  The air conditioner caused a massive leak in the attic, and the laundry room flooded with approximately 600 gallons of water, all before I completely moved in.  But....I have recovered, both mentally and mostly with the repairs. 

I have spent the last week moving tote after tote after tote.  If I never see another 18 gallon tote, I will be happy.  My friends came to my aide and saved me having to move entirely by myself.  I even had a friend drive 11 hours just to help.  For all of that, I am so thankful.  I still can barely move...even typing hurts. And how on earth did I get a bruise in between my toes??  (damn toes)

Anyone that knows me, knows that within 24 hours I had the entire place unpacked and decorated.  I feel at home.  I feel happy.  I still waiver between feeling like I'm over my head, with feeling proud of myself.  But I am here.  And after buying and changing my first toilet seat, then crawling in the attic to dig in a condensate drip pan, I feel like roaring and drinking a beer.  (yeah, I don't know what that means)  Just wait till my friend Brenda and I do lawn care! 

Last night was the first night that I did not collapse into bed from exhaustion. Because of that, my ears perked up when I heard noises right outside the house.  I sprung out of bed, grabbed my knife and phone, and snuck through the house (yeah, I'm a total badass. lol).  As I tip-toed through the living room, I saw a figure in the window in front of me.  He was a scary, hunched-over man walking past my front window.  I was ready to cut him.

What I didn't realize at the time was that the garage light goes directly through my house from back to front, and the figure I saw was merely my own shadow on the curtain.  Luckily, I didn't start swinging or I could have gotten hurt.  I found out today that the noise was a neighborhood cat making himself at home on my porch.  Also, I am now working on standing up straighter.

Tonight is the first night with the kids in the house.  I hope I have made it feel like home for them so they sleep well.  At least I know I will cut somebody to protect them! :)