Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Solicit THIS! Update

Solicitors from the Fellowship Baptist Church rang the doorbell a moment ago.  I answered the door in a medical mask. 

Me:  I'm sorry, I have a disabled son that is sleeping. 
Woman with look of horror: Oh, do you have a problem? (pointing to the mask)
Me: He's very ill and I can't....
Woman:  Okay, well we won't disturb you, so take this brochure.  (I picked it up by the very corner like it was biohazard)

I didn't have time for the gloves and ketchup, but I feel I made those ladies very uncomfortable.  Score 1 for me.  Next time I will be better prepared. 

Monday, January 23, 2012

Solicit THIS!

Ever since I moved into this house over four months ago, I've had a numerous amount of door-to-door solicitors.  This appears to be one of those neighborhoods that begs for someone to start ringing doorbells.  I've had Safelite Autoglass stop by about once a month.  I've had an Edward Jones agent come by. I've had the First Baptist Church come by twice.   Kids needing sponsoring....Kids selling candy....And even neighbors wanting me to join the "Community Group" meeting that's held once a month.  It seems like the doorbell rings every day. 

At first I thought, I will just get a "No Soliciting" sign at Lowe's and put it on the door.  It's easy, cheap and effective.  But where's the fun in that?  No, I'm thinking I should have a little fun with these folks. 

I have always been in sales, so I realize how intimidating and scary it can be walking up to some one's door.  You don't want to disturb anyone, but at the same time, you really need to meet that sales quota.  Why not make them even more uncomfortable?  Now THAT would be fun.

As I'm putting my brain to work, trying to figure out what to do, I realize, "Hey, I have a ton of medical supplies".  I have surgical masks...and rubber gloves....and syringes....  Now if only I had a red hazard sign... oh wait, I DO! 

So, next time someone rings the doorbell, I'm going to suit up and head for the door, holding a syringe and red disposable hazard bag.  I can't wait to see the look on that person's face.  Hmm, maybe I should be holding a camera too? 

That gives me another idea.  I should just open the door and just start clicking the camera and taking photos of them.  What could they say, they're on my property, right? 

Someone suggested that I have my own products handy to try to sell in return.  "Hello, thank you for stopping by, let me tell you about this great 'new to you' pair of shoes.  They are gently worn and have a slight odor, but have already been broken in and match most anything.  They're only $50 a month.  Or how about this collection of wine bottle corks?  They have been aged and assembled from the finest selection of Walmart and Trader Joes brand wine.  You can buy them for the low price of $1 per cork, or 6 for $5.  Or let me tell you about what we're serving today.  Mmm, mmm, you will love this week old meatloaf.  The solidified grease and chewy glaze make the perfect combination to tantalize your taste buds.  Served in a ziplock for your ease of eating without utensils.  This delight is $17 today only."  I wonder if I can fit in a "But wait!  There's more!" somewhere. 

I can only imagine the looks on people's faces.  Stay tuned to find out how it goes.  And please, feel free to suggest other ideas.