Sunday, November 24, 2019

Dating in the New Age


I remember when I first got a Roku player for my TV, and then Netflix.  I had so many choices of movies and shows, that I couldn't make a decision.  That's called the paradox of choice.  And that's what has happened with online dating.  It's become the Ebay for finding a mate, and it's difficult for everyone to make decisions.

The old fashioned way of meeting someone in public at a bar or wherever is difficult.  I don't go out to bars, and there's only so much time I can spend holding grapefruits in the produce section of the grocery store waiting for some cute, single guy to strike up a conversation.  Not to mention the fact that I am the ripe ol' age of a Cougar (which I have been recently called more than once).  I just look ridiculous doing those things.  That leads me to meeting someone online.

I joined a couple dating sites because I've had luck in the past, and since doing so, it's been a couple months of utter chaos.  I am completely up front with my life and what it's like. I describe myself with brutal honesty, and in return, I get a lot of messages.  Just yesterday, I got 78 new messages.  I don't even know what to do with them at this point. I have kind of stopped looking at profiles, because...

Most everyone looks the same to me these days...



Sometimes though, I get funny messages.....





Some have funny profiles......



Some have a hard time with spelling.....






And some are plain jackasses.....




This next guy, who had tattoos, was telling me how women that have tattoos are wannabes and they are just shallow, insecure sheep.  Then he blew up my phone because I hadn't responded in a couple hours.  The blue text is me....




There are weird guys....




I've even been catfished a couple times.  One guy, I talked with for two weeks, and he said all the right things.  Then the day came to meet and an "emergency" came up.  I knew then that I had been duped.  I felt like a total idiot. The next day, he faked an email from his daughter saying he was missing.  I never responded. (insert eyeroll here)



The next catfish was a guy that I had talked with for a little over a week, and we agreed to meet.  He told me to pick a place, and I got all dolled up and texted a restaurant.  After an hour of waiting, I googled his phone number.  Found out that it wasn't his name and he was in fact married.  And that wasn't even the first time I had been stood up. It happens more than I care to admit.

I also have several guys stop talking to me as soon as they find out about me having had a mastectomy and reconstruction.  Oh well, I can't change that.

Then there are the select few men that I have actually liked among the sea of mediocrity over the past few months.  And this is where I have a tendency to mess things up and become THEIR dating mishap.  It's rare that I find someone interesting, genuine, handsome and kind all in one person.  But I also have a little dating PTSD, and I have this ability to self-sabotage anything that has potential of becoming a relationship.   I don't know why I do it.  I guess I'm a chicken.  I keep reminding myself of the fact that I am the common denominator in all my failed relationships.

I'm sure in time I'll find what I'm looking for.  It will take a good while.  We are all broken in special ways.  I just have to find the guy that I can deal with his broken pieces and hope that he's willing to deal with my broken pieces.  In the meantime, I will just take the Emma Watson approach and self-partner until I'm ready.



That first comment though...



Onward with awkward dating for the new decade!  Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

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